REFLECT: The Week I Stopped Feeling Guilty for Setting Boundaries
“No is a complete sentence.” — Anne Lamott
For years, I believed being a “good person” meant being available for everyone, all the time. Answer every message. Say yes to every invite. Hold space even when I had nothing left in the tank. I thought that it was the only way that people would like me, that if I said no to someone or something, it meant people wouldn't like me.
Science tells us that people pleasing isn't just draining, it spikes our cortisol levels, can cause havoc with our sleep, and keeps our nervous system stuck in fight or flight.
Your brain perceives constant over-giving as a threat. And your body? It responds like it’s running a marathon you never signed up for, and come on, let's be serious, who wants that?
It wasn't until I finally started saying no, without long explanations or apologies, that I started to feel lighter, calmer, and more like me.
I realised that boundaries aren't walls, they are fillers and they allow us to keep in what's good and let out what drains us. They allow us to focus on what / who fills our cup and avoid those people/things that drain it.
Many people think they are selfish. This is not the case; it's an act of self-respect. They teach us that it's okay to say no, it's ok to fill our own cup before filling everyone else's, that we can't keep giving to others when our own cup is empty, and to protect our cup.
Thought: What if your glow-up isn’t about doing more… but protecting the energy you already have?
RISE: Your Weekly Glow-Up Check-In
This week’s energy: Boundaries aren’t barriers; they are allowing you to be more aligned with who you are.
Your 3-step challenge:
Say no to one thing that feels heavy this week.
Replace one “should” with a “want.”
Journal: Where am I giving out of obligation, not love?
Affirmation of the week: “I honour my limits without guilt. Protecting my energy protects my glow.”
REAL TALK:
What would change if you stopped apologising for taking up space?
Boundaries aren’t the end of connection, they’re the start of healthier ones, ones that matter.
This isn’t just self-care. It’s the nervous system care.
GLOW-DOWN: Waitlist is Open
Ready to stop pouring from an empty cup? I help women in their 30s & 40s create science-backed routines and mindset shifts to support their energy, hormones, and glow-up goals.
Join the waitlist for my 1:1 coaching
Because a well-rested, well-boundaried you is unstoppable.
Here’s to saying no without guilt, yes without overthinking, and becoming your own safe place.
💋 Your Sober Hype Girl
